Taboo: The Sixth Sense
trust the salesman at GameStop. I should've known this from last
time when he told me Street Fighter 2010 was a 2 player game, but
somehow he caught me off guard again and told me about Taboo.
"Taboo is the game the parents didn't want their kids to have!
It was like... the ultimate fortune teller and kids everywhere were
playing it! It was the ouija board for the NES, man!" To tell
the truth, I'd never played around with those ouija boards. All I
knew was that you placed your hand on a wooden object and moved it
around a board of letters after asking a question. If the answer was
right, it worked! But if the answer was wrong, you must have been doing
it wrong, blame the powers beyond your control for that!
Anyways, the game starts off by making you give your
name, birthday, and sex. I played along and told it the truth; after
all, if I'm going to type a rant about how much this game I might as
well see if their future it tells me is correct. But apparently that
doesn't have any effect whatsoever on the results, because it all
turns out wrong. The question I asked? "How long will
this take?" A simple question, and if anyone's going to know
the answer, it might as well be the game, right? Well instead of
saying "Five minutes", "depends", or "who
knows?" it dove into a display of colors that looked like a kaleidoscope
wannabe while shuffling a bunch of cards around. The first one came
up and said some stupid answer that I didn't even memorize, talking
about the clouds of my trash cans eating my foot or some equivalent
nonsense. But it didn't stop there, it showed me twenty more cards,
each showing equally senseless messages that didn't have anything to
do with what I asked.
not uncultured, my sister went through a phase of tarot cards and we
played a few games. She was fourteen at the time, and even her
readings made a whole lot more sense than the ones I got from this
game. I understand the trick to fake fortune telling (and let's not
kid ourselves here, this is a video game, not a live psychic stuffed
in your NES) is to be vague and misleading so that the person who's
being read can narrow down the meanings themselves and draw their
own conclusions. This game tried to do that, but the problem was
that it was too vague and miswritten to understand if the cards were
right or wrong. "The existing obstacle is giving of time to
those less fortunate."... what?
This game is worse than a broken clock, even those
are right twice a day.
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