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NES Speech

Ever want to incorporate an esoteric tone to your everyday talk? Didn't think so! But here's some NES themed dialogue you can use in most everyday situations, should you feel like stealing wit from the Internet. I'm pretty sure I made these up, so if you hear one be all like, "Woah, Monster's made something people use!" 

1. Comebacks - Throw 'em back after being insulted!

- The princess must be in another castle because there seems to be a toad in here somewhere.
- Is this Q*Bert? Because I haven't the faintest idea what you're saying.
- You must be Error because you're not saying anything worth listening to.
- Go find a jellybean so I can turn you into something useful, blobber boy.
- We're not in Ninja Gaiden, so what's your excuse for being so annoying?
- Just like Paperboy, but you're more of a pushover and you don't deliver.
- You're a few pieces short of a row.
- Didn't you learn anything from Bubble Bobble? You've got to let that air out sometime, boy!
- Put the gun up to the TV while you're taking the cheap shots, wimp.
- Make like Kirby and blow off.

2. Pick Up Lines - Get the ladies!

- I don't have to eat flowers to set your world on fire.
- If you like Zelda, then I'm your missing Link.
- Somebody hit my B button, 'cause I feel like hittin something right now.
- You don't need an NES, I'll be your Megaman.
- I'll give you some Elevator Action after I shoot out the lights.
- I'm no turtle but I've still got a bo.
- Just call me Donkey Kong 'cause I'm taking you back to my place!
- It wouldn't be a final, but I can still give you a fantasy.
- If this was Spy Hunter, I'd oil you up in a second.
- This must be ExciteBike, 'cause I feel like jumping those dunes.

3. Whatever floats your boat - With creative twists!

- Whatever rescues your Princess.
- Whatever hunts your ducks.
- Whatever chases your frog.
- Whatever gets your XP.
- Whatever eats your dots.
- Whatever warps your zones. 
- Whatever kills your germs, Dr. Mario.
- Whatever delivers your papers.
- Whatever switches your colors, Q*Bert.
- Whatever makes your burgers.

4. Bring 'Em  Up! - Lighten a friend's mood!

- Well, at least you didn't make Total Recall into a video game.
- Sometimes you have to pull out a lot of weeds before you find your magic door.
- That was the Power Glove of ideas, it was good, but nobody cared enough to buy it.
- You may not be in the top 10, but at least you get to put in your initials.
- When life hands you unexplainable odds, keep delivering the papers as best you can.
- If you can't handle your load, kick one off the screen.
- This isn't Tetris, so whatever you can't use you don't have to put up with!
- Always carry a candle through the caves, so you can see what you're up against.
- If you can't avoid the Noid, put down the controller.
- Your star may have run out, but you can still take a few blows.

5. Ass Kickers - Stuff to say in battle!

- You must be Bowser, I'm here to clean your pipes.
- Sorry, but the only girl you've kidnapped is Ms. Justice, and she's come to pay her due.
- You've got the president held hostage, so that must make me the vice.

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