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Fake FAQ

Here are some fake FAQ that was made just to avoid as many e-mail reading as possible.

- General questions
- Ad Generator
- How We Do It

General questions:
Q: Can I join your staff?
A: How do I say this without being rude?... Don't call us, we'll call you.

Q: Can I get hosted?
A: (See previous response)

Q: Can I submit stuff to your site and get recognition as well as a plug to my site when it gets posted?
A: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN'.

Q: I'd like to request some content without resorting to email.
A: That's what the forum is for, silly.

Q: What's with the crossed out sections?
A: They're not done.

Q: How long as NES City been around?
A: NESCity.com has been around since late December 2003, but the two sites who formed it have a lot more history than that.

The Ad Generator:
The ad generator, in case you don't know, is the box in the menu on the left that displays a random ad with each reload. That said, here are some made-up FAQ about it because I was bored when I wrote this page and decided to kill time by writing this out.

Q: How does the ad generator work?
A: The ad generator works with JavaScript, although in the future I'd like to change this since some browsers don't support JavaScript or have it turned off. I've placed all of the ads in a folder and have the JavaScript fetch out a random ad on each reload.

Q: I don't know any JavaScript, any chance you could give me the code?
A: Certainly, it's a rather simple code that can be found on JavaScript websites everywhere. But since most of them request you put a line of credit on there (which is bull, the programmers think it's their child and just want to see their name on the web), I won't link you to them. Instead I'll just post it right here and now and you don't have to put a thing on the code and just claim you knew Java all along. You sly boots:
-------------------------------------------
<script LANGUAGE="Javascript"><!--
function banner() {
};
banner = new banner();
number = 0;
// bannerArray

banner[number++] = "<a href='PUT LINK HERE' target='_blank'><img src='PUT PICTURE SOURCE HERE' border='0'></a>"

increment = Math.floor(Math.random() * number);
document.write(banner[increment]);

//--></SCRIPT>

--------------------------------------------

If you're using a WYSIWYG editor, be sure not to copy and paste that code directly into the HTML. Instead, I recommend you open the file with NotePad and paste it in there. If you don't know what you're doing or what the hell I'm talking about, I guess I should just say to make sure the yellow text on this page looks exactly like it does in your HTML.

Q: Can...Can I use your ads?
A: Yes, but I must request you don't link directly to them so I can keep my bandwidth; instead, right click the ad and select "Save picture as..." and save it to your computer. And by the way, if I catch you linking directly to my pictures I will move them to a new address and your site will look totally retarded (Unless it's a site all about the magnificent red 'x'!)

Q: I'd like to advertise my site in your ad generator, how do I go about this?
A: If your site's been up for more than three months, is all about the NES, and totally rocks your socks (my socks do not have to be rocked, mind you), click here to learn more about how to request to be advertised.

Q: My site isn't NES related, but I noticed you have ads for non-NES sites on your site; is there any chance you might be able to place my 88 x 31 ad on your site?
A: Nope. You're lucky I put this FAQ up too. Just asking me to do so would totally ruin your chances. 

How It's Done
Q: What programs do you use?
A: NES Monster uses Photoshop 6, ImageReady, Flash 5.0, Bryce, and FrontPage. Weird-Edsel uses PaintShop Pro and notepad.

Q: Any chance I can get a tutorial?
A: Sure, just contact NES Monster.



 


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