T!: To start things off, what do you
go by? Otto? Or Agent 17?
Ted: I don't go by either, I go by
Ted. Agent 17 is the agent number I am in the roster and Otto is my
codename. I suppose if you're referring to which one my coworkers
call me by, it's Otto.
T!: Alright, Otto, wha-
Ted: You're not my coworker, so don't
call me Otto.
T!: ... alright, Ted. What are you up
to today? I mean, I haven't seen Elevator Action 2 or anything, why
not? Where've you been since the NES?
Ted: Carjacking. I steal people's
cars then sell them. I figure it's the easiest way to make
money with a gun next to bank robbing. All I have to do is switch
plates and nobody can prove it's their car unless they engraved
their initials on it or something.
T!: Right... uh... I'll be right
(five minutes later)
T!: Okay, back to the interview
(tosses engraver behind his back), so your life of action never
Ted: Well, dodging pimp's bullets in
the projects really isn't a life of action.
T!: Excuse me, "pimps"?
Ted: Yeah? What'd you think I was
T!: Uh, getting confidential files
for the government in a high security building and trying to get
away in your car in the garage at the bottom floor?
Heavens no! I'm "Got-To-Go Otto", quick, efficient, and
always on the move. I'm a pimp from the country doing my business in
the projects. I mean come on, a high security building? What high
security building's power goes out when one bulb gets shot? Pssh.
Those 'documents' were nothing more then the girl's numbers, and of
course the other pimps in the building were jealous and wouldn't let
me leave with their girl. And if I were an agent, don't you think
I'd have a better weapon and car?
T!: But... no! You're Agent 17 with
Ted: Yeah, I'm the 17th guy in the
roster. We're a club just like the Free Mason, Stonecutters, and
MADD. And I'm NOT going to use my real name, if I get an STD girls
won't want me anymore.
T!: But your suitcase reads "Top
Ted: You want those numbers? You're
gonna have to take 'em from me.
T!: Uh, no thanks.
Ted: Come on, you want some of this?
T!: That's all the time we have for
in this interview, uh, Ted, thanks for stopping by.
Ted: Thanks for the car.
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